Yes, I hate exercise with a passion. It’s so obnoxious and time consuming. Although I understand the values and I am vain enough to want to look smokin’. So why exactly do I hate exercise? I’m not particularly fond of sweating, it bothers me. I don’t like people staring at me while I feel like a bumbling idiot with no coordination.
The biggest issue is my attention span. I get bored. I’ve tried the exercise videos and got yelled at by my downstairs neighbor whilst banging my legs into my coffee table consistently. I’ve tried the running outside in my neighborhood thing, and my imagination comes up with a thousand weird things that could happen. Also it’s hot as balls. Not a fan of that either.
The beach is too far, and it would be too expensive to drive and I would lose a lot of time. I do have to write my next book y’know.
I’ve done the gym thing. 24 Hour fitness is pricey. So, I finally joined a new gym that recently popped up in my area. Not quite as many amenities (Really the only thing missing is the pool) but I still really like the vibe. It’s super chill, and I don’t feel like I have to prove myself. Honestly, I’m going to the gym to get into shape. Those bangin’ bods don’t just happen magically. (Unless it’s in your genes, and if it is I hate you.) This gym is called Chuze (like choose but with a Z sound.) So of course I call it Chuz-ee. The employees hate me.
The best things about gyms are the A/C. Not going to lie. And the worst things? Well, let me tell you.
I am a class taker. I feel like if I take one of the exercise classes, it will guilt me into working out for the entire hour. It makes you feel super awkward leaving in the middle of a class…..with everyone’s eyeballs on you.
So far this has proved effective. Downside, since this is a smaller gym, there are only two chunks of time frames you can take classes. 5-8p with everyone else in the world, or 7-11a. Which requires me getting up when I’m naturally a night person.
Zumba? Tried it, love it, and then I turn around and I realize I really shouldn’t turn around. Yoga? Probably my favorite, but that’s because it’s the lazy person’s exercise. Pilates? Room full of overachieving mom’s who look at me with pity. You know who they are, they’re the ones who show up with the “no makeup” face that they spent an hour doing. Their hair is all perky and cute. Their workout clothes are cute, and they match their workout shoes, and their yoga mat, or whatever. They look like they’ve been up for hours. Because they wanted to.
They look something like this:
I lie. She’s just a beast and I think she’s gorgeous.
It’s more like this:
Then there’s this new class I found. Piyo. It’s really just Yogalates (Yoga and Pilates combined) which I think is copyrighted by the movie “John Tucker Must Die.” This class is unreal. And there’s always that one older woman who shames you.
Okay, your mom is so hot!”She does Yogalates.”
I honestly think my favorite is Zumba though. It’s like playing Dance Central in real life.
It’s never like that in real life. So what is an awkward, Irish white girl to do? Suck it up!!
I’m just not a very coordinated, human female. I’m about to work on my kickboxing and “Bootcamp.” It makes me nervous. As the description of the class is literally everything I hate to do. But hey, strong is the new skinny.
As part of this, I need to be held accountable. So I will be updating with my results about once a month. This will include height, weight, measurements, and current pant and dress size. (We all know they are not the same thing.) Weight loss isn’t what I’m going for really, just health, strength, and the ability to survive the zombie apocalypse, or any apocalypse.
Thank you Wichita, for showing us how it’s done. And Michonne.
So here goes nothing.
Measurements: 33 x 27 x 36
I’ll have to measure my thighs later. lol. Doctor’s appt Tuesday to make sure there are no problems. Now that I finally have health insurance. I’m off to change my sleep schedule. Gah. (I’ve decided to take the early morning classes and supplement them with other exercise.)
More later lovelies!